


The Space Between

by MellytheHun



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 12:35:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8714164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MellytheHun/pseuds/MellytheHun
Summary: Uncovering his feelings for Hux is a less than pleasant experience, but the outcome is more than agreeable to Kylo.





	

It was one of the other Knights of Ren that forced Kylo to consider the possibility he might be harboring more than neutral to platonic feelings for General Hux.

When meditating as a group, they run though sensory cycles to calm and center them; first, a scent that’s comforting (Kylo smells freshly shined leather), a sound (Kylo hears Delta waves), a flavor (Kylo tastes sweet mint), a tactile sensation (Kylo feels his lungs expand for fresh air after removing his helmet) and finally a visual. The Knights call this ‘The Space Between.’ The Space Between is very nearly an illusion they cast upon themselves - a place they feel safe, a place to go to inside their minds for ease and tranquility.

Typically, all other times Kylo has meditated with the Knights, he’s imagined lying down in a naturally occurring alcove on an isolated beach with black sand and two suns, always rising.

After his return from Starkiller, however, this image changes without his meaning it to. And all the other Knights see it.

There is no beach, there are no suns, there is only General Hux, standing tall and powerful before the viewport on the control bridge of the _Finalizer_ ; the colorful nebulae outside the ship giving him an ethereal glow and a dark, defining silhouette. Kylo can see him, hear the whirring of computers and droids, officers at work and he can sense the way Hux crosses his hands over the small of his back beneath his greatcoat. Kylo inexplicably finds this endearing.

_Why are his hands important?_

_I don’t know_ , Kylo responds to the Knight, _It’s strange. He’s left-handed, but he always holds his left wrist with his right hand when he crosses them over his back. I think he might be ambidextrous._

A different Knight asks, _why have you taken note of this?_

_I have sparred with him in the past_ , Kylo answers, _He’s good with a sword and staff. I have only noted that he tends to rely more on his left side body._

_No_ , the Knight says, _Why have you taken note of the way he crosses his hands over his back?_

No answer comes to mind.

When Hux wears his greatcoat (which he almost always does because he’s too proud to admit he’d just like the heat turned up a little on the ship), it hides his arms. Kylo doesn’t often _see_ the way Hux crosses his hands over his back; he _senses_ it. Which means he must be _feeling_ for it consciously - seeking it out. He doesn’t know when that started or why, so he has no answer.

_Is it the control bridge that gives you calm or General Hux?_

_I don’t know_ , Kylo replies.

_Imagine him. See if it centers you_ , one Knight suggests.

Flashes of fiery red hair, sharp, icy blue eyes and full lips sneering to expose sharper-than-normal canines cross Kylo’s mind. He can smell Hux’s cologne, can sense the weight of Hux’s energy pressing against his the heated way it always has and still does. He can see those icy, lapis eyes turning toward him, sly and devious and captivating like starlight glimmering in his irises.

_Crunching snow, the crust of a planet splintering, his face burning, side stinging and then Hux. His hair like an open flame in the cool blues of the surrounding, chilling woods, his eyes wide - his lashes are long and pale. It was the first time Kylo had ever noticed._

_“How did you find me?” Kylo asked, gritting his teeth._

_Hux used his comm to alert their escape pod to his coordinates. He looked back down at Kylo, his eyes still revealing more concern than real anger._

_“I just focused on the sound of resounding idiocy and followed that.”_

_“You were worried about me,” Kylo had teased._

_Having just lost to Rey, killed Ben Solo’s father for nothing and destroyed Starkiller, Kylo was grasping for some control. To inflict some sort of pain, even if it was just pulling on Hux’s pigtails like a schoolyard bully. And it was a little rewarding, accusing Hux of having feelings - until Hux’s mouth slanted and he muttered, “still am. Snoke wants you at the citadel posthaste. I’ll try to tell him you’re too wounded to return so immediately. I can’t promise he’ll listen.”_

_“Why do you care?”_

_Hux rolled his eyes so hard it looked like was physically painful. He started removing his gloves, tucking them into his jacket pocket._

_“Live with a man for five standard years and he asks ‘ **why do you care** ,’ - you’re dumber than you look, you know. And you're a dumb looking bloke. Particularly in that mask. Look like a waste bin in a cloak.”_

_A touch hysterical from the pain and trauma of the event, Kylo laughed. He regretted it when he felt his side throb in agony. Just as he seethed in pain, Hux’s ungloved hands came to his side, applying pressure. They made eye-contact again and Kylo could hear the pod hovering nearby - they’d be rescued soon._

_“…I killed my father.”_

_“Yes - I caught sight of him, actually. Did you thank him for your full head of hair before murdering him?”_

_Kylo’s brows pulled in._

_“What?”_

_“I imagine it was your father who gave you such good hair - was it your mother, then? Whoever it was, you ought to thank them.”_

_“You like my hair?”_

_“Always have thought it very handsome,” Hux admitted, honing his attention onto the wound he was applying pressure to, “Always hated my own as well, though.”_

_“You shouldn’t. Looks like flames. It’s rare - beautiful for that reason alone, even if it weren’t as aesthetically pleasing as it is. You still think I’m handsome?”_

_Finally, Hux looked away from where Kylo was bleeding onto his warm hands and he cocked a brow while assessing the wound on Kylo’s face; “you won’t be winning any beauty pageants any time soon, but yes.”_

_Kylo tilted his head in the snow to better look at Hux, but Hux wouldn’t look at him again._

_“Yes, you still are.”_

Kylo sees the dusting of light freckles on the back of Hux’s neck, the veins in his wrist that sometimes show between his gloves and the cuffs of his uniform jacket, the narrow lines of his waist and the pink cleanliness of his nails. He sees Hux, backlit from that viewport in all his glory - a figure of strength, purpose, drive -

_He does not calm you._

_You are becoming untethered._

_No, he doesn’t center you and your excitement is bleeding everywhere - stop imagining him._

Shame fills the open spaces in Kylo’s mind and he tries to shut down all the images he can, but he still sees that first one. His safe place. That silhouette of Hux looking out the viewport.

The meditative hive is unsettled by his outburst of emotion, though and they cannot regain their collective footing. Before giving up entirely on group meditation, one Knight asked, _so the General is why you were granted time to heal before resuming training?_

_Yes_ , Kylo answers.

_Your feelings for him are overwhelming. Does he know?_

_Know what?_

_That you love him?_

The solar flare of anxiety that shoots up out of Kylo breaks the telepathic bond between them all and he leaves the hall, the temple and hyperventilates outside. The night sky has three moons - one is very small and far away. Kylo tries to focus on it, tries counting his breaths, tries holding it as well, but nothing calms him down. His eyes water and his throat closes up.

_No. No. I don’t -_

_You do_ , Snoke’s voice booms in his head.

Kylo engages his lightsaber and starts slashing down tall trees - nocturnal, winged things leave the woods in a hurry, blotching the moonlight. He tears down everything he can for however long he can keep his arms swinging. Once he’s out of energy, he sheaths his saber and lies down on the blue grass. He holds his forehead with both hands, shuts his eyes and dares to ask; _Master, will I see him again?_

_Yes. Release your fear of love. It will not weaken you. Passion of any form will only strengthen you now, Kylo Ren._

_How could I not have noticed it forming?_ Kylo asks helplessly, a clawing uncertainty in his chest.

_Love does not happen suddenly. Five standard years is a long time to maintain any relationship - to cultivate such strong emotions takes time and patience. The other Knights won’t understand. Breathe deeply. I will return you to the **Finalizer** soon. There are still subjects you’ve yet to learn - you will return to your General a Master. Take comfort in that._

Kylo’s heart rate declines a little and he nods to the open sky. He feels a bit fevered and his eyes are hot, his throat still tight.

_Okay._

* * *

Boarding the _Finalizer_ again fills Kylo with nostalgia and he cannot explain to even himself why the unchanged scent aboard the ship, the familiar crew, the identical droids - why it all comforts him so much. Change often insinuates evolution - he shouldn’t be so pleased to see so little has changed.

But he is.

He is excited by the sight of it all.

He’s restless to see the General, though.

When he makes it to the control bridge, Hux is there in full uniform - hat, greatcoat, gloves and all. He’s signing something on a holopad for a worried looking officer and does a double-take when he sees Kylo on the bridge.

He stops mid-signature and his brow furrows in confusion.

“Ren? No one alerted me that you’d be returning.”

Hux’s _voice_ \- such a sweet alto, so soothing, such long-denied  _music_ to Kylo’s ears.

He storms the bridge with a pace like he might jump, frightening Hux, but once he’s in Hux’s space, he grabs the man’s face and pulls him in, kissing him fervently - in full view of his subordinates.

He feels Hux make a surprised, “ _hmm_!” against his lips and it’s cute, it’s endearing - he has missed this man more than he’s missed anything before. This reunion is like being re-gifted a piece of his soul he thoughtlessly gave away and he's awash with relief and gratitude.

He moves his ungloved fingers through Hux’s hair and musses it the way he’s always wanted to and it’s clear that it’s Hux’s shock that’s loosened his jaw, but Kylo takes it as an invitation for his tongue. Hux makes another noise against him, one lower from his chest and it’s _more_ than rewarding; layers of robes will keep Hux from feeling just _how_ rewarding his noises are to Kylo, but it’s not as though he intends to keep it a secret from Hux for long.

He cups the base of Hux’s skull, turning him just a little, kissing him languidly, romantically and when he pulls away to catch his breath, he’s delighted by the sight greeting him.

Hux’s hair is a mess, his hat has fallen off onto the floor, his hands have compulsively come up between their chests to splay over Kylo’s collarbone, his lips are pink, swollen, he’s dazed and confused and there is a vivid blush stretching over his cheeks and onto his ears.

He looks _windswept_.

“I missed you,” Kylo confesses deeply.

Hux’s eyes widen and come more into focus. His blush darkens and Kylo can sense he’s too worried to look around the bridge to see the reactions of his underlings.

“Wh-what in the _stars_ was -”

“I _missed_ you, Hux.”

Swallowing with some difficulty, Hux glances down at Kylo’s lips, then back to his eyes. He’s still bewildered, but Kylo can sense Hux is glad to see him again as well. He smiles peacefully, stroking Hux’s cheekbone with his thumb.

_Am I still handsome?_

Hux’s eyes flicker back and forth between Kylo’s and he nods, saying nearly inaudibly, “y-yes. Yes. Very much so.”

Overjoyed, Kylo leans in to kiss Hux again and ignores the much more indignant surprised noise Hux makes; and when Hux bites his bottom lip with those too-sharp canines, Kylo smiles against him.


End file.
